


Howl vs modern slang

by disaster_queer



Category: Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones, Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hair Dyeing, Howl Being a Drama Queen, Post-Book 1: Howl's Moving Castle, Slang, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28618476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disaster_queer/pseuds/disaster_queer
Summary: a short ficlet i wrote after coming across a tumblr post that brought up the idea of neil using modern slang in front of howl or referring to howl
Relationships: Calcifer & Sophie Hatter & Howl Pendragon, Sophie Hatter & Howl Pendragon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Howl vs modern slang

**Author's Note:**

> this is really short, and it's focused on one (1) interaction, so it's not that great, sorry

“I’m a terrible person,” Howl said one day as he sat down at a chair near Calcifer’s fireplace. “Absolutely dreadful!” Michael carried on mixing ingredients for a new spell over by the table, and Sophie turned the page of her book.

“‘No, you’re not, Howl.’ We care about you, Howl.’” What a  _ joke _ !” He threw his hands up in frustration and collapsed against the back of the chair, inadvertently tilting it too far. He spilled onto the floor with a thud. “I’m okay, not that any of you care!”

Sophie looked up from the book she was reading. “ _ Are _ you alright?” she raised an eyebrow. “You do seem a little…” she trailed off, searching for a word that captured the sudden increase in Howl’s usual dramatic antics and constant need for validation.

“Over-the-top?” Michael suggested, not glancing up from his spell. “Anyway, I was thinking-”

Calcifer gasped exaggeratedly. “The world must be ending!” he snarked. 

“Very funny, Calcifer.” Sophie sent him a pointed look.  _ Be nice. _

“Oh, all right, I’m sorry,” Calcifer grumbled.

“Why in the world are you all so grumpy today?” Sophie sighed, not really expecting an answer.

“Oh, Howl’s nephew, Neil, kept calling him a boomer… I don't know what it means, but he hates it. Must be a good sign!” Calcifer said cheerily.

“So that’s why he’s so distraught?” Sophie asked. 

“Must be,” Calcifer answered. He dove down into his grate, then rushed up the chimney. Sophie turned to Howl, wanting answers.

“It’s something you say to an annoying adult,” Howl wailed. “He thinks I’m annoying!” Sophie sighed, seeing that Howl’s bruised ego was something he would recover from in time. He righted the chair, but propped his feet up on the wall and continued lying on the floor.

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Howl fretted. 

“I suppose Neil might think so,” Sophie said carefully, trying not to exacerbate the situation further. It seemed to have been the wrong thing to say, as Howl let out another wail of distress, and sunk further down. Droplets of green slime appeared around him.  _ No, I am not letting that happen again. It took ages to clean off last time!  _

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Sophie said briskly, deftly marking her page and taking Howl by the arm. She hauled him to his feet, and marched him towards his bathroom, or should she say laboratory. “I bought you a new hair concoction when Megan took me shopping in Wales. I was saving it for May Day, but I suppose now will have to do.” She handed him a small bottle. Howl’s eyes lit up, and he rushed to go dye his hair, again. 

**Author's Note:**

> i know the ending is terrible but i had no idea what to do, and the prompt (?) had already been fulfilled, so...


End file.
